2026 Milan Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony was dinky…
It’s molto bene to be Leo’s girlfriend.
At Friday evening’s Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony in Milan, Italy, Vittoria Ceretti, the 27-year-old mannequin — and Leonardo DiCaprio’s twentysomethingth twentysomething — carried the Italian flag ahead of the host nation’s national anthem.
Beyond her apparent headline-grabbing potential (this was a fete that also celebrated the paparazzi), Ceretti’s responsibility made sense.
Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend, Vittoria Ceretti, carried the Italian flag at Friday’s opening ceremony for the 2026 Olympics in Milan. Getty Images
The Italian Ceretti, when you one way or the other couldn’t guess the provenance of her last title, was a part of a runway-style tribute to the late designer Giorgio Armani, the Milanese dressmaker who died last September. Models strutted in sporting stylish Armani fits in pink, white and inexperienced. Everybody regarded beautiful.
Indeed, while the kickoff’s official theme was “harmony,” the real promote in icy Italia was magnificence. The European nation’s garments, artwork, music, meals and, sure, genetic items, had been on full show. Not a lot the millennia-old industriousness of the Duomo, Colosseum or Roman aqueducts. Giant, mechanical components like those value numerous Euros.
Unfortunately Italy’s showcase, like France’s drizzle fizzle two years in the past, turned out fairly dinky.
There was no earnest try and match the world-power would possibly of 2022’s Beijing Games or the 2014 Olympics in Sochi, Russia, which had been big, exact and militant.
Comparably mini Milan was largely a collection of repetitious, unimpressive dances. The performers didn’t dance like no one’s watching, however like half as many people had been watching than could be during the summer season.
The first of many dances featured performers as Cupid and Psyche. Getty Images
The first a-five-six-seven-eight featured statues of Cupid and Psyche from the Roman “Metamorphoses” skipping round other artworks searching for each other. Unlike dancers at Paris’ 2024 peculiar presentation, they didn’t search out a ménage à trois.
Then three big bobbleheads of composers Gioachino Rossini, Giuseppe Verdi and Giacomo Puccini — famed for his or her operas — bounced alongside while dancers dressed as colourful music notes, espresso makers, image frames, cooks, Galileo and Leonardo da Vinci gyrated round.
Mariah Carey sang “Volare” at the ceremony — however barely moved. Getty Images
It was a imaginative and prescient out of “Eurovision.”
Next, that well-known Italian Mariah Carey sang “Volare,” which segued to her slightly less iconic new tune, “Nothing is Impossible.” She sounded nice and didn’t transfer a millimeter.
There was another choreographed sequence with hoofers representing cities and nature, or one thing like that.
Sabrina Impacciatore from “The White Lotus” carried out a campy dance that spanned a long time of historical past. POOL/AFP through Getty Images
And then, after all, got here the Parade of Athletes. A alternative that sums up the whole campy event properly is that the Italian team walked out to a techno version of “Largo al factotum” — “Figaaaro! Figaaaro!” — from “The Barber of Seville.”
I wasn’t thrilled with the event dividing the parade into 4 cities — Milan, Cortina, Livigno and Predazzo — nevertheless it was the most widespread Winter Games ever and, thus, allowed more Olympians to get their second in the solar. Or, slightly, snow.
After that — whaddya know? — more dancing! “White Lotus” Season 2 actress Sabrina Impacciatore frolicked round the stage with mountain-town characters in a loopy manufacturing quantity about the historical past of Milan ski tradition that wouldn’t have been out of place on American TV in 1983.
A late, time-filling comedy routine that includes actress Brenda Lodigiani making big, dramatic Italian gestures, speaking together with her arms during a bit the place her microphone wouldn’t work, might’ve been titled “Cost-saving Measure.”
The highlight of the evening was Andrea Bocelli singing “Nessun dorma.” AFP through Getty Images
The highlight of the evening was tenor Andrea Bocelli magnificently singing the aria “Nessun dorma” from Puccini’s opera “Turandot.” The second had real significance, grandeur, tears and chills. Finally!
It positive regarded like the ceremony was about to be over and that the torchbearers would light the cauldrons.
“No!” the organizers said. “Let’s throw in a pointless solar-system dance and an anti-war dance, and have Charlize Theron read a quote from Nelson Mandela!”
Call me old school, however aren’t the best ambassadors for unity at the Olympics the world’s biggest athletes — not the star of “Mad Max: Fury Road”?
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